Tattoos; I dislike them with a passion. Having just returned from Canada – I don’t recall seeing any in Toronto, although there must have been some – I find myself back in a tattoo obsessed UK. And professional sportsmen are the worst. In a photograph of England footballers modelling the new Nike kit – and that’s controversial in its own right – I see young Jack Wilshire with tattoos down both arms. Why, Jack, why? Did you get them done one afternoon when you were bored and had nothing else to do? At least Wayne Rooney – somewhat surprisingly, perhaps – doesn’t seem to have any. Good for you, Wayne! Jack Wilshire aside, the worst for me is Jade Dernbach, the Somerset and England cricketer, who appears to have tattoos everywhere. Catch him fast bowling under lights in the Indian sub-continent where its hot and sticky and they look positively ghastly. I suppose there must be artistic merit somewhere, but I just don’t get it. Could someone please enlighten me?